Today must be the day for eye candy since ABCFamily decided to show BOTH of these movies today!
In other news, I am sick. Boo. At my last appointment my PCP gave me a z-pack to help fight off any infection because my sinuses are acting up. She said she likes to treat asthmatics as soon as possible because it typically ends up in their lungs. Well, the last time I was on antibiotics I wound up with a yeast infection and a 44 day cycle, so I opted to fill the meds but not take them until after O. However, I woke up this morning with two VERY swollen glands on the back of my neck and decided that I should probably take the antibiotics and risk another YI and late O/long cycle just to be healthy. Blah. I probably should have started them sooner because the vertigo is kicking in! Not a good sign. :(
I still refuse to take the daily Ibuprofin (800mg) for my wrist. But, who knows how I will feel about that tomorrow.
Wow, so here we are. Cycle #6. I can't believe it. It seems like not too long ago my husband and I were on complete opposite ends of the TTC spectrum. He didn't think we were ready while I had been ready for what felt like FOREVER. Now, here we are, our sixth cycle of trying to create and bring a baby into our family. I'd be lying if I sat here and said that I am fine with that.
Yes, I know that it can take a healthy couple up to 1 year to conceive, and yes, I know that there are plenty of women who try unsuccessfully for much longer than 6 months; but I am not them and this is not their blog. I'm not discounting their obstacles and journeys but I am not going to apologize for how I feel about mine.
I am frustrated.
I am worried.
I am sad.
I am frustrated because I feel like my body isn't cooperating. Ever since beginning our TTC journey, my periods have taken on a life of their own. I am also frustrated because people who don't even want to be pregnant, or can't afford to be, have an embryo implant into their uterus just by blinking their eyes and twitching their nose.
I am worried about the unknown. We don't know if there anything "wrong" with either of us that will prevent getting pregnant naturally...or at all.
I am sad because there is nothing more that I want than to see those pink lines and know that our little one has finally made it into our lives.
So, here's to cycle #6. I am going to try to keep positive and keep my fingers crossed for our Thanksgiving baby. I'm sure there will be days I won't be able to remain positive, but I will try!!!
Weekday arrivals don't really work for me. So, in the future, If you're going to rear your ugly head, can you at least help a sistah out and do so on the weekend? This will give me plenty of time to deep clean the house and make the laundry vanish when those random bursts of energy hit me.
Well, AF must definitely be on her way since I've been fighting back tears ALL. DAY. LONG. So, in the words of Jay-Z, we're on to the next one.
I saw my PCP tonight for my asthma issues and I'm very happy!! She gave me Advair as a maintenance inhaler and also offered to send me home with a nebulizer, which I happily agreed to take home because I've been wanting one for awhile now. The only thing I am concerned about/questioning is that she told me my thyroid level is a 12 and it is normal. Say whaaaa??? I am calling tomorrow to double check on the number because I am not finding anything that says a 12 is normal. In fact, it's about as normal as:
In the course of my medical-filled evening I had to get an x-ray of my wrist due to recent pain (when I put pressure on it or lift something) and swelling. Of course when I told the x-ray tech that I *could be* pregnant she automatically wanted me to do a pregnancy test. I requested a blood test (I had JUST gone pee), which she agreed to, but the lab tech was no longer there so I had to squeeze out a few more drops in order to PIAC. I didn't get my hopes up but I wanted to burst into tears (it was my theme for the day) when the nurse said it came up negative.
So, I am expecting AF to show up tomorrow (or even overnight) since today is CD 13.
I woke up this morning will all intentions of testing. As I approached the lab (ha!) I decided that I would wait it out because I didn't feel like seeing another BFN. However, as I sit here analyzing every twinge and cramp I feel like I should have tested just to ease my mind; even if it meant being disappointed. I see my primary care doctor tomorrow for an unrelated matter and will probably test in the morning just in case. Just in case of what? I'm not really sure. *sigh*
Love & Cookies (because what else is this holiday good for besides sugary sweets?),
I decided to start a TTC blog so that I will have a place to obsess, complain and wonder about the trials & tribulations of TTC. My husband (30) and I (27) have been TTC since September 2010 - not long at all in the world of baby making. I am currently 11 DPO and anxiously awaiting my testing date. This cycle has really been playing mind games with me - I've had tons of symptoms and 2 instances of spotting, which I never get until the day before AF arrives. Ah, the joys of being a woman.
Good Luck to any readers who will soon be testing!!! :)